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You’re pissed. Instead of doing the right thing and adhering to convenience store etiquette that every human should know, Andy Asshole decides to jump from the very back of the line to the register that just opened up-even though you were next and waiting. And he even has the gall to throw you a “what […]
The foreboding, heart-thumping, drone-like score gets louder and louder. We see the long, flyover shot of black, government vehicles snaking along a dust-covered, barren landscape headed toward God knows where. The camera then slowly pans left, and we see where they are headed and it’s not good. Juarez, Mexico could easily be mistaken for any […]
It’s Sunday in October. The wife and kids just left to go shopping and I’ve got the place to myself. The cheesesteak is ordered and on its way. The Dorito bag is already open on the table. The first beer is out of the fridge and in my hand as I finally sit down on […]
If I close my eyes and let my mind drift back, I can distinctly remember an actual sweetness in the air on warm days. A palpable smell. Do you remember that smell? The summers of my youth were magical. All the seasons of my youth were magical. No, we didn’t have a pot to piss […]
I didn’t get my first tattoo until I was in my early thirties. I was always of the belief that if I was going to put a permanent mark on my body, a body that would be staring back at me in the mirror when I was 90, it better be of something that was […]
I recently read somewhere that Hooters was restructuring its corporate identity to make up for lagging sales. Seems the Millennials aren’t into the big boobies as much as past generations, and when you’re a restaurant chain whose gimmick is well-endowed waitresses with skimpy outfits, I guess that’s a problem. More importantly, this raises a serious […]
You know when you’ve drunk too much and then the room starts spinning in the middle of the night? You want to puke out all the poison, so you can sleep, but you just can’t? Most people rely on the old ‘finger down the gullet’ technique. Yea, that’s tried and true. But I’ve got a […]
You show me the most confident, alpha, bad-ass, hard as nails, son-of-a-bitch and I’ll show you a man who, at one point or another, very recently, stood in front of a mirror and thought about his hair way too much. He was either meticulously primping it like a 12-year old girl getting ready for a […]
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