Posted on October 15, 2018
by Steve Janowick

The pendulum has swung.  And it continues to swing further from its center.  And according to Alyssa Milano, it needs to.  No longer is it enough to love, respect and honor our XX chromosome counterparts.  No longer is it enough to merely acknowledge the indiscretions and injustices of our past-a past that included, among other things, the denial of some of the most basic rights that we take for granted today.  No, you must now worship at the altar of shame to atone for these past sins. It’s hard to believe that a century ago a woman couldn’t participate in the process of shaping our country’s political landscape. No reasonable man alive today in 2018 can even fathom such an inequity.  It’s literally unthinkable! We cherish our daughters, sisters, and wives. And just the thought of mine feeling like second-class citizens makes my blood boil and my heart ache. But context is paramount. I would bet a nickel to a dime that the men a hundred years ago had the same amount of love and respect in their hearts for the women in their lives as we do today, and through the lens of the societal and institutional norms of the time, women’s secondary status to men was just that-a norm.  There was no malice in the hearts of men back then. But any man will concede that there were definitely some deep-seeded patriarchal complexes running amok.

It took the courage, tenacity and sheer will of some very brave women (and men) to take on that fight and change those standards.  Fast forward to today and there isn’t a single right, privilege or liberty that women don’t share equally with men. Are there some men out there still acting like pigs?  Sure, no sane human would ever deny that. But they are held accountable more than ever in our history and punished accordingly.

So, why all this guilt and shame in men?

Because it’s really not in our court of laws that the game is played today.  It’s in the court of public opinion. The playing fields no longer are leveled in the halls of justice.  They’re leveled in the characters of a tweet and the words in a post. Minds and hearts are altered and shaped today by an opinion mob that is ruthless and will stop at nothing to plead its case.  If they’re not conspiring behind their collective screens they’re rabble-rousing in the streets in a swarm like fashion to drive their points.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease they say.  And right now, the folks pushing the abused, oppressed women narrative are squeaking louder than my daughter’s violin during her practice.  And men, especially younger ones who’ve grown up in the social media age, let that constant ringing in their ears manifest itself into feelings of guilt and shame.  “They keep saying I’m bad, so I must be…right?” Just by the virtue of having a set of nuts between your legs these days is enough to warrant the verbal pitchforks to start jabbing. What impressionable young man WOULDN’T develop a guilt complex under those circumstances?  But don’t allow it. If you’re a good man with nothing but love in your heart for the women in your life and respect for the ones not in your life, then don’t allow it! You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Funny thing is that it’s such a small percentage of women who are making this noise.  Most women are secure, proud and enjoy the current synergistic coexistence with us men.  They love us because they want to, but they’ll also fight us when they have to. And I respect the hell out of that.  So, men, keep treating all the gals with the love and respect they deserve, but do not allow anyone to make you feel guilt or shame for the few knuckle draggers out there or because of indiscretions of the past you weren’t around for.  And if you should ever see Alyssa Milano you can kindly tell her what she can do with her pendulum.

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