Posted on October 22, 2018
by Steve Janowick
You show me the most confident, alpha, bad-ass, hard as nails, son-of-a-bitch and I’ll show you a man who, at one point or another, very recently, stood in front of a mirror and thought about his hair way too much. He was either meticulously primping it like a 12-year old girl getting ready for a night at Skateland or feeling very anxious and/or depressed about his follicle inadequacies. Seriously, just think in terms of yourself. I guarantee that every single one of you (myself included) has questioned your own masculinity at some point because of the amount of time spent worrying about your hair. And I’ll take it a step further and proclaim that hair tops the list of the big 4-man insecurities! Yep, more than body type, pecker size, and bank account, hair is the number one measurable that a man utilizes to gauge his own attractiveness and desirability to women. And if you deny it, then you’re just bullshitting yourself.
So why is this the case? I have no clue. But there are literally thousands of pseudo-experts on the inter-web offering up their pseudo-scientific, psycho-babble if you really want the technical answer. I’m certainly no expert in anything. But I’ve got me some of that their real life, pragmatic, wisdom stuff, and it’s telling me that a man’s hair must be tied in, whether consciously or subconsciously, with his feelings of virility. For example, a full head of hair is attributed to youth, and youth is attributed to strength and vitality; therefore, a direct correlation between the amount of hair a man has on his head and a man’s measure of himself can be made. Sad but true.
Hair type is also a factor that needs to be considered because I know guys with thick, full heads of a steel-wool-like substance who are just as insecure as the balding guys. Totally unable to control its movement and look in any way, they’re a slave to its stubbornness and fickle whims. Now, I’m guessing their insecurities aren’t as visceral and deeply rooted in virility, but they still exist just the same.
How many times have you gotten ready for a killer night out with the boys only to have it slightly ruined by the realization that you’re having a horrible hair day (night)? You know exactly what I’m talking about. Everything about the vibe you’re giving off is…well…off. No matter who’s there, how well you think you’re dressed, how much cash is in your pocket: if you perceive yourself as having weak hair-you’re going to have a weak night. Conversely, we’ve all had those nights where we felt like Greek Gods out on a conquest. All because our hair was looking amazing, which sent our confidence skyrocketing through the roof and allowed that vibe we’re giving off to be…well…on!
As I said earlier, I’m not an expert. And I’m also not the ubiquitous, motivational advice guy that tells you ‘everything’s going to be okay’ either. What I am is a realist. And I’m here to tell you that no matter what anyone says if you have an insecurity or obsession about your hair or lack thereof (and barring any trips into the shrink’s chair) you’ll most likely have it until you’re on the other side of the dirt.
So, buck up, buttercup. Just deal with what God gave you and at least TRY to make the best of it…and own the hell out of it!
You’re still bad-ass!
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